Poison – noun: something harmful or pernicious, as to happiness or well-being.
DISCLAIMER: My blogs WILL have typos. Once I write about an experience, I leave it where it is. I don’t want to look back at them or relive them, so once I write, I don’t proofread. Sorry, not sorry. Either way, take what you need and leave what you don’t.
As of the last couple of months, I have been planning for this mysterious thing: the future. I have been rattling my brain in regards to finances, property, ovarian health, and all things that many adult women rattle their brains with at some point or another in their adult lives. And let me tell you, it has been stressing me out.
As many of you know (and if you don’t know, now you know) I am a worrier. I’m an absorber. I’m also impulsive. What that means is that I will take on so much, let it fester, and then take many immediate actions because I want things to happen RIGHT NOW. This can be a good thing because it’s nice to have a plan in motion. It’s nice to budget. It’s nice to have a timeline and a goal. However, the issues lie in my worrying; when I consume ourselves with these finances and future plans over my current happiness and living my current life. I’ve lost countless hours of sleep, stress sweating, having too many “I need a glass a wine” moments that turned into me drinking multiple glasses (or bottles) in one night (only to repeat this stress cycle the following day), and running my mind into the ground. Many of us are doing or have done this…
So, to the point of generational poison…
We spend soooooo much time talking about generational wealth these days. We want to build a financially stable (or more stable) future for our little ones, the next generation. We want to save for houses. We want to stack our 401Ks and we want to build savings for babies and futuristic expenses. Again, all this is wonderful. These are things that most adults should be and are doing. We are trying so hard to make sure the next generation is set and doesn’t have to “struggle” the same way we may have had to. I understand. I get it. I am DOING IT (or at least trying to, as we all are).
In doing this, we poison ourselves sometimes. We take on so much weight and so much stress for the future, that we forget how to be happy. We burn out, raise our cortisol levels with stress and anxiety. We try to provide a future for…the future. But we sometimes lose ourselves in the process. What good is the generational wealth going to be if we don’t have stories and laughter and traditions to tell the next generation (because all we have done is work and stress)? What good is generational wealth going to be if we aren’t well enough to see it come to fruition (because we have run ourselves down). What good is generational wealth going to be if we don’t teach the future generational HEALTH.
As we plan for this future, whatever it is, we need to make sure we are living. We need to learn how to heal. We need to learn how to enjoy ourselves in the moment. We need to be more mindful. We need to create good, mindful habits and create traditions. A big empty house is not as good as a smaller house full of good energy, stories, and traditions. We need to create these habits so that the next generation not only has better financial habits and establishments, but so that they know how to communicate and express themselves. We want the next generation to avoid financial debts that we may have had or still have, but we also need to them to avoid the emotional traumas and patterns and cycles that we may have been or are still revolving in.
We MUST stop poisoning ourselves with so much worry and stress. We do not have to stressed harder because we want to provide to the next generation more than the last generation could provide for us. Plan better, yes. Budget better, yes. But also, be more mindful. Heal yourself. Create traditions and speak on healthy habits. Everything not about money. Money cannot buy your healing, your happiness, you human connection, your growth. Money will put the next generation through college. Money will help the next generation avoid our debts. But money will not make the next generation feel our love. Money will not make the next generation feel seen and heard. Money is not human connection.
So, let’s avoid this generational poison. Let’s show the future that we can both plan for them and live ours lives. Let show them that we want the best for them financially and emotionally. Let’s also show the last generation that we see them. That we have learned from their mistakes and we are going to better ourselves. Let’s acknowledge that we know better, financially and emotionally, so we are going to do better on both front.
At the end of the day, every one is doing the best they can with what they have and what they know. I see you and I appreciate all that you are. Take what you need, leave what you don’t.
Positivity, Growth, and All the Things