Many times in our lives, we see the same type of situation manifesting over and over again. Whether it is in our intimate relationships, friendships, or at work. Red flags keep popping up that we ignore and move past, only to see the same situation come up on a different day, at a different time.
In relationships, often times when we see red flags, we make excuses. Your partner may not be giving you what you need or even what you want, but because they “mean well”, you stay. Your partner might belittle you in some way, big or small, but because you love them or they say they love you, you stay. You might be loyal to your partner, pour into them (sometimes more than yourself) more than they do for you, but because they are a good person, you accept it, thee unequal and unrequited love. You may stay with someone who you know you should not be with, for the simple fact that they might be the only partner that actually hasn’t wrong you.
In your friendships, you might let a friend talk to you crazy because, thats just how they are. You might always be there for one of your friends, accepting that they never and rarely reciprocate. You might accept a negative shift in a friendship because you guys have put in so much time together or may have been childhood friends trying, and maybe unsuccessfully, to navigate adult friendships.
At work, you might not be able to hold your tongue, always wanting to have the last word, and find yourself in constant states of annoyance, or in tiffs with other coworkers. You might consistently harbor anger or irritation for the same person or people, everything they do now pissing you off, altering your mood for no real reason. Hell, you might constantly find that you take jobs you don’t even like, therefore you are quite miserable and move from one job to the next.
Regardless of what situation you keep finding yourself in, you keep ending up in the same spot because you are not learning the lessons you need to learn, making the changes you need to make. There is no person, no job, no half ass relationship that is more important than you and your happiness (if you have children, then adapt this however you need, because I know many mothers whose happiness is tethered to their children’s happiness, and I get that). Let me say that again… THERE IS NO PERSON, NO JOB, NO HALF ASS RELATIONSHIP THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU AND YOUR HAPPINESS.
What you want and what you deserve is out there, you know. You don’t have to accept less than and settle for behaviors and situations that do not serve you. You do have to lie to yourself or force yourself to continue something or simply brush things off. You will remain in the same spot or some across the same situations and types of people over and over and over again. I have been learning this the hard way, as some of you have as well, but at least we are learning it. You are not dumb, you are not foolish, you are not behind. But hopefully, by reading this, some realiZation has been sparked and you can start to see whatever situation you are thinking of for what it is, and start to make some changes.
Put yourself first. Not at the EXPENSE of someone else, but out of love and care for yourself. Say no to the nice guy not treating how you deserve. Say no to the job that does not serve you (if you can), say no to friendships that are toxic or stuck in the past. It is time that you love yourself enough to allow yourself to get and maintain what you need. Say yes to yourself, your space, your happiness, your wellbeing. You deserve that much.
Heavy on the positivity, growth, and ALLLLLL the things,