Women Crush Wednesday: Here’s to My Strong Black Women.

My unapologetic blackness is not threatening

As a black female, being woke, strong – physically and mentally – and unapologetic often leads you to be deemed aggressive, feared, or ignored. AND I AM TIRED OF IT.

The reality of a strong black female is that we carry the weight of being both a minorities (black and female). Yet we are supposed to “work harder”, don’t show your tears, carry the load, “never let em see you sweat”, and -my favorite- “fix your face”. We are expected to quietly carry a burden and, often times what seems like, alone.

Well, that’s what I used to do. Keep. It. Pushing. Who has time for tears when you have work to get done. My image of strong was always to “never miss a beat” and not to cry (or if I did, not for long). I needed to be MVP. I needed to get that degree and get that award. I needed to have that boyfriend and have that life that we see in Lifetime Movies. I needed to impress and achieve to show that I was worthy of the “STRONG” label. I had been beaten, almost murdered, didn’t grow up wealthy, but managed to create my own life in New York and traveling around the world. No slowing down, no time to really grieve, just…go, go, go! Which is great…I AM STRONG. Right?

Definitely cried INTO my glass of wine.

…But ya’ll, this shit isn’t the only version of STRONG BLACK WOMEN (and for me, was definitely not the healthiest)! Strong black women come in all shapes and forms and exhibit strength in different ways. Strong black women cry. Strong black women have break downs and get exhausted. Strong black women REST. These things DO NOT make us weak.

Strong black women write books and celebrate with their inner circle. Strong black women clean toilets or work in factories until the day they retire because thats how they supported their family. Strong black women are teachers and engineers and bloggers and coaches and secretaries and moms and aunties living their every day lives off screen, off line…

To be in this world; To wake up and take a breath; To love and be loved, to feel and give and receive and make a difference to even ONE PERSON…that’s a strong black woman.

Ya’ll over the stereotypes too?

To cry because you are overwhelmed; to go to therapy; to leave your abuser; to come and go to work every day; To be in a world where white women who are glorified for embracing what is black culture while you are ignored for your authentic blackness…that’s a strong black woman.

This stigma that strong only means no tears; that strong only means fearless; that strong only means making millions…; that strong only means having a huge following; that strong only means being at the top, is bullshit. If you are fighting and working and living another day; If you are living unapologetically, YOU ARE STRONG in your entirety. I AM STRONG in my entirety.

*deep sigh of…something* I do all the things, and you may too. But WE. ARE. STRONG. We are more powerful than we give ourselves credit.

If you are a strong black women and you liked this post, leave a comment! If you feel connected and would like to read more, check out my other emotion infused posts!

Positivity, Growth, and All the Things,


Published by Finding Jaymee LLC

As a 28 year old educator, traveler, and athlete, I aspire to candidly shed light on my journey through my blackness and my womanhood, and promote positivity, growth, and all the things!

18 thoughts on “Women Crush Wednesday: Here’s to My Strong Black Women.

  1. Loved reading this post! As a Latina, I acknowledge my privilege as much as I acknowledge my blackness/roots, but I can definitely empathize with the feeling of having to be “strong” all the time (by society’s definition anyway). Thank you for writing. It lets people know they’re not alone!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love this post. You said it all girl! For the longest I thought “strong Black woman” meant the misperceptions you mentioned. I thought I was less than because I didn’t fit the ideal Black woman. But I recently realized I am a strong, sensitive Black woman. Being sensitive doesn’t make me any less of a Black woman. This is so empowering 🙌🏾

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yessss! So many ways that we have been conditioned to think that the version of ourselves is not good enough or black enough! Glad you found some peace and empowerment in this!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I did and shared it with a few friends. Thanks for posting 😊 What made you decide to use your face for your blog? When I read one of your earlier posts, you mentioned being confronted by an employer about your content. How did you respond?

      Liked by 2 people

    3. Ya know, I want to be relatable and because I offer so many experiences and insight, it wouldn’t feel right to not let people at least see me and feel connected.

      And, at first I was shook and took down my original blog. And then I left that employer and started writing again, and this time nothing will stop me.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. The part “To feel and give and receive and make a difference to even one person”…. I felt that. We have to understand we are strong on both ends – on the giving and receiving end! Receiving doesn’t make us weak. Just as giving doesn’t make us any stronger than the person we are giving to. Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

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